I Won't Give Up
by ANK1983
Summary: Tania Winston had left her life in Charming shortly after her husband Opie was killed in Stockton. She has decided to return home when she receives some life changing news. When she falls for another Son, she struggles with whether or not to tell him her news. Will this change how he feels for her and will he stay with her?
1. Chapter 1

Tania was sitting in the office of the Teller-Morrow automotive shop, waiting for her family to get back. Her cousin Jax, her husband Opie and Chibs and Tig were getting released from Stockton prison and she couldn't wait to see them.

Tara, Jax's fiancé, was pacing the floor, impatiently waiting for them to get back as well.

"Can you stop that Tara?" Tania asked, watching her move from one side of the room to the other, "You're making me nervous."

Tara stopped and looked over at Tania. "Sorry," she replied, smiling at her, "I just can't wait to see Jax. I'm assuming you are just as excited to see Ope."

"Ope and I have been having a difficult time Tara," Tania explained, "Ever since our miscarriage a few months ago, we have just grown distant. But yes, I am excited to see him. I'm hoping that we can start out fresh. A clean slate."

"I didn't realize things had been difficult," Tara replied, sitting down beside her on the couch, "You two hide it pretty well when you are with us."

"It's different behind closed doors," Tania mumbled, "I think he blames me somehow for the miscarriage and I don't think he likes it very much that Chibs and I have grown closer in the last month or so."

"The miscarriage wasn't your fault. That was beyond your control," Tara exclaimed, "and as for Chibs, he has been around since you were 14. That's a different kind of relationship and Opie shouldn't be bothered by that."

Tania agreed with Tara about that and it bothered her that just a day before Opie went in to Stockton, he had stated that he wasn't sure if he should be jealous of her relationship with Chibs or not. They hadn't ended things on a good note and she partly suspected that he had done something on purpose so he could go to Stockton with Jax, Chibs and Tig, just to get away from the situation. It was a ridiculous thought, but it was a thought that she couldn't shake. She had every intention of making things right with Ope when he got home.

Both Tania's and Tara's heads perked up when they heard the beautiful sound of a bunch of Harley's pulling into the parking lot of Teller-Morrow. They ran outside and watched as they all paraded in.

Gemma walked up to them with a smile on her face. "You girls excited to have your boys back?" Gemma asked. They both nodded their heads in unison.

"Where's Opie?" Tania asked quietly, looking over at the guys. All the guys were there, but Opie was missing. Her heart sank, something didn't feel right.

Tania watched as Tara ran and jumped into Jax's arms and he swung her around. It was a beautiful sight, but he looked sad and a little pissed off. Tania watched as Jax pulled Tara over to the side and he said something to her quietly, her hand went up to her mouth. That couldn't be good, Tania thought. She quickly looked around at everyone else and noticed that no one looked happy, no one was celebrating like they typically would when someone got released from jail.

Chibs slowly approached her and grabbed one of her hands in his.

"Chibs, what's going on?" Tania asked quietly, "Where's Ope?"

She could see the tears form in his eyes and he was unable to say anything. He was overcome with emotion as he pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, but she was confused and no one was telling her anything.

"Tania," she heard Jax say as he approached them, "We need to talk."

"Jax," she whispered, still holding Chibs' hand and now reaching out her other hand for Jax's, "Where's my husband?"

"There was a situation in Stockton Tania," Jax replied, "We had no control. Opie volunteered...Ope was beaten to death."

Everything around her became a blur and her legs gave out. Chibs reached out and caught her and sank to the ground with her. Jax fell on his knees in front of her and he cried. Tania could feel the sobs take over her body, she no longer had control over her emotions. She pressed her face against Chibs' chest and she cried until she couldn't breath. She began to hyperventilate as she tried to catch her breath.

"Chibs, take her into the clubhouse," Gemma said, taking control of the situation, "Get her inside."

Chibs stood up and lifted Tania in his arms and carried her into the clubhouse. She had her arms wrapped around his neck as she still struggled to catch her breath. Chibs took her down the hall to the dorm room that Opie had been staying in the last couple months and laid her down on the bed.

Tania curled up in a ball and continued to cry silently. Chibs felt helpless.

"I've got it from here baby," Gemma said to Chibs quietly, "Thank you."

"You're welcome love," Chibs said, "Let us know if we can do anything else."

She nodded at him and then closed the door. She left the light off and went and sat down on the bed beside her niece. She didn't say anything to Tania, but just sat there and ran her hand through her hair, trying to soothe her.

Tania's heart was broken and she could feel the earth closing in on her, making it so she couldn't breath. She couldn't see her life without him in it. Her and Opie had been together for 20 years, since she was 15. He was her sweetheart and the only one that really truly understood her, and now he was gone. What was she going to tell her kids. How was she going to tell her six year old and her 8 year old that their daddy had gone to heaven?


	2. Chapter 2

_*I'm not sure what the actual time lapse is between Opie's death and now, so I'm kind of making that part up._

**_A Year and a half later:_**

Tania sat in the doctor's office after the doctor had left the room. She was unable to comprehend anything the doctor had just told her. The only thing she remembered was the word cancer. She closed her eyes tight and tried to remember what he said.

_"Tania, you have stage III ovarian cancer," Dr. Bishop had told her._

_Tania looked up at him in shock. "What?" she asked quietly._

_"You have ovarian cancer," he replied softly, "This cancer is treatable if we start soon."_

_She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. In the two minutes that had elapsed since he told her this news, she was already convinced that she was a dead girl. Her kids had already lost their father, what would they do if they lost their mother too?_

_"What does treatment consist of?" Tania mumbled, looking down at her hands._

_"Well, first we would do a couple cycles of chemo," Dr. Bishop responded, "And then we would do another CT Scan to see if the cancerous cells have responded. From there, if we have to, we would take the ovaries out. But you are still young and we want to try to avoid that if at all possible."_

_Gee thanks, she thought to herself. It's not like I need my ovaries, my husband is dead and nobody else is going to want damaged goods._

_She sadly smiled up at him. She didn't know what to do._

She shook her head and grabbed her bag before finally managing to walk out of the office. She walked around downtown Phoenix aimlessly for a while before she realized that she had to go and pick up her kids from her friend Michelle's house.

* * *

><p>She had cried the whole way there. She didn't know what to do and she had no idea how to tell her children that their mommy was sick. She quickly wiped the tears away, got out of the car and slowly walked up the path to Michelle's front door.<p>

Tania let herself in and called out, "Momma's here!"

"Momma," her kids screeched in unison as they ran down the stairs and straight into her arms, "We missed you."

She crouched down and held them in her arms. She was so blessed to have two very sweet and respectable children. She didn't know what she would do right now if she didn't have them with her. She kissed her 9 year old son, Hunter on the forehead and then moved on to her 7 year old daughter, Savannah.

"Oh, I missed you too kiddos," she replied happily

In that moment, she looked closely at her son and she could see a lot of Opie in his features. Her heart ached at the thought. She stood up and messed up Hunter's hair. He looked up at her and gave her his best annoyed look before breaking into a huge smile and taking off back up the stairs with Savannah close on his heels.

"Hey Tania," Michelle said, smiling at her as she walked into the hallway, "Do you have time for a cup of coffee?

"Sure," Tania replied, following Michelle back into the kitchen, "I have nothing going on. Were the kids good this afternoon?"

"They were perfect, as always," Michelle answered, "Hunter has finished his homework already and Savannah didn't have any today."

Such well behaved and well trained children she had. She smiled at the thought.

"You mentioned you had a doctor's appointment this afternoon," Michelle said, setting down a full cup of coffee in front of Tania, "Is everything ok? I have noticed that you have been a little off the last couple weeks and I just wanted to check in."

Tania's heart began to pound in her chest, her body broke out into a cold sweat and she began to shake. She looked across the table at Michelle, who had been such a great friend since Tania had first moved to Phoenix a little over a year ago, and she was unable to get the words out. The tears threatened to fall from her eyes and she blinked, hoping that the moment would pass.

"Sweetheart," Michelle said quietly, reaching across the table for Tania's hand, "Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm sick," she mumbled in response, "I've been told that I have stage III ovarian cancer. My family doctor is making an appointment for me to meet with an oncologist as soon as possible to figure out the best course of treatment."

Michelle stared at Tania, the shock very evident on her face. Clearly, she had not expected this to be Tania's news. Michelle stood up and moved to sit beside her friend. She pulled her in for a hug and both of them cried.

"If I deal with the situation now, it shouldn't be a big problem down the road," Tania continued a couple minutes later, "It's just the treatment that will be hard. The positive thing is that Dr. Bishop hasn't given me a death sentence. But I'm terrified. I can't do this on my own and I don't have the money to do it. I don't know what to tell Hunter and Savannah."

"Well I'm here for you," Michelle said quietly after a minute, "I wouldn't tell the kids until you know for sure what is going to happen. As for the money situation, that will work itself out."

Tania gave Michelle a small smile, but she was still scared and there was only one place she felt she could turn to.

They sat there and drank their coffee and talked a little longer, but Tania was tired and she had to get the kids home and ready for bed. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and cry. Besides Michelle, she had no one else to turn to.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Tania was sitting in her living room, drinking a beer and staring at the phone. Hunter and Savannah helped her clean up the dinner dishes earlier and both had a bath and went to bed easily enough. But now she was left alone with her thoughts. She had thought about it over and over in the time since she had left Michelle's house and she came to the conclusion that the only thing she could do was go back home to her family. It wasn't part of her plan to go home. There were too many memories of her life with Opie back in Charming and it hurt too much. She had tried to stay for a couple months after his death, but the pain was just too much for her to deal with and in the span of a week she had her bags packed and she moved the kids to Phoenix, Arizona.<p>

She pressed the number for her aunt into her phone and listened as it rang.

"Hello," Gemma said on the other end.

"Auntie Gem," Tania said quietly, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall again, "It's Tania."

"Sweetheart, how are you?" Gemma asked, sounding concerned, "I've missed hearing your voice."

Tania understood how Gemma was feeling. In the beginning when she had first moved to Phoenix, her aunt Gemma would call at least once a week to make sure everything was ok and that she was coping alright. Eventually though, Tania started screening her calls and then she just stopped calling Gemma back. She received a couple phone calls from Jax as well in the beginning, but again, she just stopped answering the phone. She felt awful for leaving her life and family behind in Charming, but she found that it was too hard and hurt too much. She wanted to try and make a new life for herself and if she kept in touch, she would more than likely run back to her safe haven.

"I'm not doing very well Gem," Tania said quietly, "And I've missed all of you so very much. I'm sorry I've shut myself off from you guys."

"We understand Tania," Gemma replied with a hint of understanding in her voice, "We all know that you wanted to try and start a new life away from all the pain. So what's wrong sweetheart?"

"Auntie Gem," Tania said quietly, her lip trembling, "I'm sick. I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean, you're sick?" Gemma questioned, "How sick?"

"Pretty sick," she replied, "I have stage III ovarian cancer. Dr. Bishop is making a specialist appointment for me to meet with an oncologist to figure out what the best and most successful course of treatment will be. Dr. Bishop, my family doctor, hasn't given me a death sentence, but I'm still terrified and the only person I have here is my friend Michelle. Gem, what do I do? I can't afford the treatments and I don't want to do this alone."

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," Gemma said, her voice cracking, "We finally sold your house and have put that money in an account to give to you when we saw you next."

"Thank you so much for taking care of that," Tania replied.

"I know you don't want to hear this," Gemma stated, "But come home. We will take care of you here. We will find you the best oncologist either here at St. Thomas or somewhere close. The money from the sale of the house will help, but I'm sure the club will help you."

Tania may not have voiced it, but secretly she wanted someone, anyone, to ask her to come home. She wanted to feel missed and this was enough to make her pack up her bags and go back to Charming.

"Gemma, please don't tell anyone," Tania requested, "at least not right now. Let me do it."

"Ok sweetheart," Gemma replied, "Come home and get situated, get the kids back into their school and then you tell them when you are ready."

"Thanks Gemma," Tania said as she wiped a few stray tears from her face, "I've already quit my job, hoping that you would tell me to come back. I'll get us packed up and we'll drive out there in the next week or so."

"You aren't doing this alone," Gemma exclaimed, "I will fly out there with one of the guys. Whoever Jax sends with me and we will help you pack and then we will drive back to Charming with you."

Tania agreed with her and then quickly said goodbye. She was scared, but she also felt happy that she was going back home to be with family, to be with people who cared about her. Gemma had told her that they would be there in the next day or so to help her out.

She felt so relieved that she wouldn't have to do this on her own.


	3. Chapter 3

_*So, I should have said this earlier, but this is an AU story. It is my creation, it does not follow the storyline of the series. The only thing that belongs to Kurt Sutter are the characters and the storyline of Opie being killed in prison. The rest of it is my baby. Chibs is my favorite character so it will inevitably be going in that direction. I hope you enjoy!_

Tania was tired and stressed out and she didn't know how she was going to get everything packed and ready to go in five days. She had taken the kids to school and now she was back at home packing to her heart's content. She hadn't stopped packing since she had gotten home at 9:30 am. Her new life was coming to an end really quickly and she was getting ready to start her new "new" life back in Charming where she knew she always belonged.

She had pulled a few boxes into the kitchen where she decided to start when her cell phone rang.

"Hello," she said in a tired tone.

"Tania," she heard Jax say on the other end. She broke into a big smile. She couldn't believe how happy she was to hear from her cousin.

"Hey Jax," Tania replied, "How the hell are ya!?"

"I'm doing good cuz," he replied, laughing quietly, "How are you doing?"

He knew. Damnit Gemma! Tania cursed in her mind. Gemma had promised she wouldn't tell a soul and the first thing she went and did was go tell her son. Tania actually should have known better, Gemma couldn't keep a secret to save her life.

"I told her not to tell anyone," Tania replied, turning serious.

"Tania, you told Gemma," Jax pointed out, "It's not like the first person you went and told was Chibs or Bobby."

He was right. If you wanted to keep a secret, the best people to tell were Chibs or Bobby. They were the most loyal of the club and they would die and take it to the grave before they told anyone.

"Tania, she only told me," Jax replied reassuringly, "Her and I won't tell anyone else. It's up to you now who you tell, but they will end up finding out anyways. You'll get sicker and they will notice."

"I know that Jax," she shot back, feeling bad about it instantly, "I will tell them but I just want to be me for a little while before things get worse."

"I understand Tania," he said quietly, "I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You are the last person in the world that deserves this. No one deserves it, but you have been through enough. This illness doesn't need to be added to the pile."

"I'm ok Jax," she replied, "I've learnt how to live without Opie. It wasn't easy by any means, but I've managed to figure it out. Now I have to learn how to live with this, it's just another thing that I have to figure out."

"You are amazing baby girl," he replied, "We will be here for you every step of the way. You are a strong woman and you will get through this. Opie always loved that about you. You were always strong with him, you could handle every part of the outlaw lifestyle and you never let it get to you. There was a reason why you were born into this family."

"Did he talk about me at all while you guys were in Stockton?" she asked, afraid of the response.

"He did," Jax replied, "Right before he was killed actually. We were sitting outside and he mentioned that you guys were struggling. He said that the first thing he wanted to do when he got out was take you away from everything and make things better for the two of you. He wanted to make things right between you two. He loved you so much Tania."

Tania rested her head against her arm on the kitchen table and let the tears fall. Her heart ached and she missed her husband so much.

"I wish he would've gotten that chance," Tania whispered.

"Me too," Jax replied, "Anyways Tania, I have to go now. Club business. But mom and Chibs should be there soon with the moving truck. They were going to fly, but they decided to rent the truck here and drive out there. They left at about 3:00 this morning."

"Ok thanks for letting me know," she replied, "I'll see you next week Jax."

"Yes you will sweetheart," Jax replied. She could hear his smile in his voice.

She said goodbye to her cousin and then looked down at her watch. It was 1:15 and Gemma and Chibs were going to be there soon. She got up off her butt and ran down the hall to her bathroom.

* * *

><p>She was pulling her wet hair into a messy pony tail when the door bell rang. She quickly gave herself a once over in the mirror before she ran back down the hall to the front door. She pulled the door open and there they were. Her aunt and Chibs, one of her closest friends. She always thought of him as an older brother type or even kind of a father figure.<p>

Tania burst into tears when Gemma walked through the door and pulled her into her arms. Tania held onto her and never wanted to let her go. Her mother, Gemma's sister, and her father were killed in a car accident back when she was 20, about three months before her wedding. Gemma was not only her aunt, but she was very much a mother to her as well. She felt awful for cutting herself off from them for over a year, especially when she needed them.

"It's ok baby," Gemma whispered in Tania's ear, "I'm here now. You are no longer alone."

"Oh my god Auntie Gem," Tania whimpered, "I can't believe I shut you out of my life. I have missed you so much. Gem, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, look at me," she said quietly, putting her hands on either side of Tania's face and looked into her eyes, "You were trying to move on and make a good life for you and the kids and from the looks of it, that's what you did. I couldn't be more proud of you. I understand why you did it. It doesn't mean I love you any less."

Gemma leaned in and kissed Tania on the cheek and then walked into the house, leaving her standing there in front of Chibs. She didn't know why, but all of a sudden she felt self conscious about how she looked and what she was wearing. He was the same, but at the same time, he was different. The duties of his job definitely aged him a little bit, but not in a bad way. His hair was a little greyer at the roots, but he made it look good.

"Hey love," he said quietly, breaking the silence, "I've missed you."

"Hi Chibs, I've missed you too," she replied, shyly, "It's so good to see you."

"You too sweetheart," he said, smiling at her.

Without thinking, Tania jumped into his arms. She had missed him so much as well. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist and held her. She rested her head against his chest and took in his scent. This was different, she thought to herself. She had never felt this way towards him before. She had never cared what she was wearing or what she looked like and she never really paid much attention to what he looked like. Now she was acting like a teenage girl with a crush. This was not how she was supposed to feel towards someone she thought of as a brother or even as a father. Shit, she thought.

"Come on in," Tania said, pulling away from him and unable to make eye contact.

He followed her inside and she led him to Hunter's room, which had been completely packed.

"My friend Michelle and her husband are picking up Hunter and Savannah from school and then they are coming over to help," Tania explained, "You and Jake can probably handle the more heavy things and the rest of us can pack and load up boxes."

"Sounds good to me," he replied as he took his kutte and his jacket off.

Tania reached out and took them from him. Their hands touched and their eyes locked for a moment. The way he was looking at her made her palms sweat. She didn't know what this was, or if it was anything, but if it was something, she was in trouble.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Her hand felt perfect in his. She had waited for what seemed like forever for this moment to come. She had had a crush on Opie since she was 13 and he was 15 and now here they were, on their first date three years later. They walked in silence down the main street to the ice cream shop._**

**_"How are you doing?" Opie asked her quietly, "Are you enjoying yourself?"_**

**_"I'm definitely enjoying myself Ope," Tania replied, smiling up at him._**

**_There was a significant size difference between the two of them. She was 5'3 and he was 6'5, but somehow they just seemed to work._**

**_"I thought you would never ask me out," Tania said quietly, "I was so excited when you called and asked me."_**

**_He smiled down at her and her heart fluttered in her chest. She could tell by the way he looked at her, that he really cared for her, but he was afraid to admit that._**

**_"How long have you been waiting for me to ask?" he questioned._**

**_"Since I was 13," Tania responded, "I've had a crush on you since I was about 10, but I never actually wanted to be with you, until I saw you dating other girls. I wanted to be one of those girls."_**

**_"Well, now I'm all yours," Opie replied before leaning down and kissing her softly on the forehead._**

Tania's eyes fluttered open and she was saddened by the fact that it was only a dream. She rolled over and looked at the clock. It was 3:00 in the morning and she felt wide awake. She reached over and grabbed the picture frame with a picture of her and Opie on their wedding day in it. She ran her fingers over his smiling face and smiled sadly. Her heart still ached and she wished that she could be with him one more time, just so she could make things right with him. She missed him so much all the time and she wondered if the pain in her heart and soul would ever go away.

She tossed and turned in bed for a little while until she realized that sleep wasn't going to come for her. She got out of bed and put her robe on over her tank top and panties and made her way into the kitchen.

"Can't sleep love?" Chibs asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"Jesus Chibs," she said, her hand moving up to her chest, "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry sweetheart," he replied, "I hope you don't mind I helped myself to a beer."

"It's no problem," she said, opening the fridge and grabbing herself one, "So why can't you sleep?"

"Lots on my mind," he replied as she sat down beside him at the table.

She looked at him and he looked troubled, he looked uncomfortable. But strangely, she was drawn to him and she wanted to sit there with him and talk with him, like old times.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him, "I miss talking to you Chibs. You were always there for me."

"I was just thinking about the way things were... before Opie died... after Opie died," Chibs replied, looking over at her, "I remember a conversation I had with Opie right before we went in and I was surprised. He admitted that he was jealous because you and I were growing so close. I made it very clear to him that you and I were only friends. He had felt foolish."

"Opie and I had that very same conversation," Tania said after a moment, "He accused me of confiding more in you than I confided in him, which was true. I felt like I couldn't talk to him about how I was feeling and what I was going through after the miscarriage. But he also believed that there was more there between me and you than there actually was. I tried telling him exactly what you told him, but he was so angry that he refused to listen to me. That was the last conversation we had before he went in and never came out."

Chibs reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. She could feel her internal temperature spike and goose bumps spread over her entire body. She was really glad that she was wearing her house coat at that moment.

"Tania, he really loved you," Chibs said, smiling at her, "He couldn't wait to go home and make things right with you."

"That's what Jax said too," Tania said, smiling to herself, "I miss him so much Chibs. My heart still hurts. I don't cry as much as I used to and I am managing to live a life without him, but I wish I didn't have to."

"We all wish that love," Chibs said, "But you have to, for yourself and for Hunter and Savannah. They need you."

"So you said that you were also thinking about how things were after Opie died," she said quietly, "What were you going to say?"

"Things got harder. It was hard for us to replace Opie for you," Chibs replied, "I don't mean we were trying to replace him and what he was to you, but we were trying so hard to fill the emptiness. I really liked taking care of you Tania. I got to know sides of you that I wouldn't typically have had the opportunity to know in other circumstances. Then you left. I really missed you when you and the kids left. It didn't feel the same for any of us when you left."

"I'm sorry I left Chibs," she said quietly, "I was trying to start a new life with no memories of Ope. It hurt too much to be around all of you and to be around every place that the two of us ever went to together. I ran away from the pain, and I see now, that the only place I really belong is in Charming with my family. So that's why I'm coming home."

He smiled at her, but the sadness was still very evident in his eyes. Seeing him sad made her heart sad and she wished that she could fix it for him. She was sure that the pain would go away now that she was coming home, but maybe there was more going on with him, more than he was willing to share with her.

She took the last sip of her beer and then got up and put it on the counter beside the sink. She took a step back and hadn't realized that Chibs was standing right behind her. She bumped against him and his hands moved quickly to her hips. Her hands seemed to have a mind of their own at that moment. Her hands moved so that they where resting on top of his. Her heart was pounding her chest and the goose bumps returned when he moved his head down so his lips were next to her ear.

"I understand why you left love," Chibs whispered, his goatee brushing against her cheek, "But I'm glad that you are coming home."

He was so close to her and he smelt so good. All she would have to do is turn her head slightly to the right and their lips would meet. She thought it best to avoid that situation, but it took everything in her to walk away from the moment. She wanted to feel his lips against hers and his hands on her body, but she couldn't complicate things right now.

She moved to the side and turned to look at him. Her hand was still holding onto his. What the hell was going on? These feelings were confusing the hell out of her and she needed to extract herself from the situation.

"I should be getting back to bed," she said shyly, smiling slightly at him, "Long day of packing tomorrow. I hope you can get to sleep now."

He nodded his head at her and she let go of his hand and quickly made her way down the hallway to her bedroom. She closed the door and leaned against it. What was happening?

* * *

><p>Chibs made his way to the living room and sat down on the couch. He put his head in his hands and sighed heavily. He wasn't going to lie, Tania had changed, but not for the worse. She was gorgeous and she seemed happy, but for some reason, she was ready to come home. He didn't care what the reason was, he was just glad that she was coming home.<p>

Once Opie had died, the club had done their best to take care of her and the kids and she was very appreciative of everything they had done for them. But somewhere along the way, during that two months after he died and before she moved away, she had made herself pretty comfortable in his heart. When she left she took it with her. He knew he didn't have a chance in hell, but he ended up falling for the women that he had watched grow up since she was 13.

He was stuck in a tough place tonight. He had wanted to kiss her so badly, but he didn't want to move too fast, and he wasn't sure what was going on in her head. He was sure he had seen a look in her eyes that he had never seen before. It almost looked like passion, desire, but there was also a definite hint of uncertainty and fear. He didn't know what would come of the situation, but he would wait patiently and find out.

Unfortunately, patience wasn't one of his stronger traits. He laid down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. Sleep was not going to come for this man.

_*I will keep writing, but let me know what you would like to see happen next. I am more than open to suggestions :) Thank you so much for reading!_


	5. Chapter 5

Three days had past and they had packed up her entire house and put it in the back of a moving truck. Despite the fact that her and the kids had only lived there for a little more than a year, she was saddened to see this part of her life come to an end. Hunter and Savannah were sad to leave behind their new friends and their new school and Tania was sad to leave her good friend Michelle behind.

"How are you holding up?" Michelle asked, sitting down on the front step beside Tania, "You have been sitting out here by yourself for a while."

"Sad to leave, but happy at the same time," Tania replied, smiling at Michelle, "I have a rough road ahead of me and I'm prepared for whatever is in store for me."

"So, this Chibs guy..." Michelle began, giving Tania a curious smile, "Who is he? Who is he to you?"

Tania was stumped on both those questions. She had struggled the last three days with these feelings that were just beneath the surface and whenever she was in a room with him, whether they were with a bunch of people or if they were alone, it was hard for her to not touch him somehow. To put her hand on his shoulder, to run her fingers over the scars on his face, to bury her face in the leather of his kutte and breath in his scent, all of these things she had to struggle not to do.

"Chibs has been around since I was about 13," Tania replied quietly, "He watched me grow up, actually he kind of helped raise me. When Ope and I went through the miscarriage, he was the one I turned to. Opie didn't understand me and what I was going through and I just couldn't talk to him anymore. Chibs let me talk and he let me cry and he just let me be me. He turned out to be a very good friend to me when I needed him to be."

"How much older is he than you?" she asked curiously.

"I'm 36 and he's 49," Tania replied, "There's nothing between us Michelle, if that's what you are implying."

"Well, the way he looks at you would suggest otherwise Peyton," Michelle replied, elbowing her in the side playfully, "If there was something there, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that. The look on your face right now says that you are confused about the situation."

"I'll keep you posted," Tania said with a smile.

Nothing else was said after that. They got up and walked into the house to finish the clean up before Tania and her family moved back to Charming.

* * *

><p>A couple hours later after Tania had said goodbye to Michelle, she stood outside her cute little house with Gemma and said goodbye to her home.<p>

"Are you sure you're ok with driving the kids Gem?" Tania asked her, "I can drive them."

"You have worked yourself to the bone sweetheart," Gemma replied, "You go with Chibs and just relax. You need to rest."

Tania was quit exhausted. She hadn't been sleeping properly, she went to bed late and woke up early and she worked hard during the day. She had gone to see her doctor before she left. He was sad to see her go, but he knew of a good oncologist that worked directly out of St. Thomas in Charming. He said he would put in a referral and hopefully she would get in to see her next week.

"Have you told Chibs yet?" Gemma asked, breaking Tania out of her thoughts.

"No Gem, I haven't said anything to him," Tania replied, "I don't know how to tell him. I don't want him to feel sorry for me."

"He wouldn't feel sorry for you. He cares about you, he would want to be there for you," Gemma replied, looking at her, "That whole club cares about you and they would give the vests off their backs to protect you and keep you safe."

"I just don't want to hurt him... or them," Tania whispered, "Just let me do this on my time ok Gem?"

"You have my word sweetheart," Gemma replied, "I know I broke my word the first time, but Jackson needed to know."

Tania smiled and acknowledged her before dropping the key in the mail box and walking to her car. She wanted to say bye to her babies before they got on the road. They had planned to stop on Los Angeles that evening and stay at a motel and then finish off the trip the next day. It was already 1:30 in the afternoon, and driving 10 hours in one go would be too long for the kids.

"Hey baby," Tania said to Hunter, kneeling down by the car, "You be good for Aunty Gemma ok? We'll stop somewhere to go pee and then we will stop to sleep. You going to be ok?"

"I'll be fine momma," Hunter replied smiling at her, "So will Savannah."

Tania smiled over at her baby girl. "You ready to back to Charming?" she asked her.

"Do we get to see Uncle Jax and Uncle Juice and Uncle Tiggy?" Savannah asked her, kicking her legs back and forth in her booster seat.

"Of course you get see them!" Tania exclaimed, giggling with her daughter, "They will be there waiting for us when we get there."

"Yay!" Savannah squealed, "Then I'm ready to go back to Charming!"

Tania stood up and kissed Hunter on the forehead before closing the backseat door and then she ran to the other side. Savannah had her arms wide open to hug her. Tania's heart melted. She leaned down and gave her baby girl a big hug and big kiss on the lips. She closed the door and then turned to make her way over to the moving truck. Chibs was standing outside smoking a cigarette and watching her every move and all of a sudden she felt very self conscious.

"We're all set," I said to Gemma, "We'll stop in a couple hours for a drink and pee break."

"Sounds good," Gemma replied, "We'll follow you guys. Be good."

Tania's mouth dropped open and Gemma winked at her. She had been figured out. But she didn't understand how Gemma could figure it out before she did. She had no idea what was going on. Gemma had always been that way though. She somehow knew everything, even before it actually happened. Tania waved at Gemma and walked towards the truck.

"Let's get out of here," she said to Chib's before climbing into the truck.

* * *

><p>A couple hours later Chibs pulled over at a gas station just off the highway to get gas and have a smoke. He was pretty sure the kiddies would like a break as well to stretch their legs and get a drink. He looked over at Tania who had been fast asleep since they pretty much left Phoenix. A piece of her dark hair had fallen in her face and he reached over and pushed it behind her ear. She was beautiful, but she looked tired and troubled.<p>

He quietly got out of the truck and began filling the truck up with gas when Gemma and the kids ran over to him.

"Hey baby," Gemma said quietly with a little concern in her voice, "How's she doing?"

"She's exhausted Gem," Chibs replied, "She's been asleep since she got in the truck."

Once he was done gassing up the truck he put the nozzle back on the holder and pulled out his wallet. He handed Hunter a $5.00 bill.

"Go grab yourselves something to drink," he said, messing up Hunter's hair.

Hunter stuck his tongue out at Chibs and then grabbed Savannah's hand and they ran to the store squealing and giggling. He loved being around them, they were always such happy kids, even after all that they had been through.

"I should go keep an eye on them," Gemma replied, smiling at him and turning towards the store, "Do you want anything?"

Chibs shook his head and then turned towards the truck. He could tell that Tania was beginning to wake up, so he slowly made his way to the passenger side door. She smiled at him and rolled down her window.

"Hey you," she said sleepily, "Sorry I fell asleep for so long?"

"Don't worry love," Chibs said, resting his hand on the edge of the window, "You were clearly tired. Just gave the kids some money to grab some drinks."

"Thanks for doing that, I can pay you back," Tania replied, "Are they doing ok? Being good for Gemma?"

"Don't worry about it, it was just five bucks," Chibs said, "The kids are doing great. Laughing and squealing and having a great time."

She smiled at this. It took everything in him to not reach over and run his hand through her hair. He wanted to touch her so bad, to hold her and kiss her. She looked up at him and her smile disappeared and it was replaced with a look he had seen only once before, a few nights ago when they both couldn't sleep. What did that look mean, he silently asked himself.

"Thank you for everything Chibs," she said quietly, reaching up and putting her hand on top of his, "I really don't think I could have done this without you and Gemma."

He nodded his head and then looked down at her hand on top of his. Her hand was warm and it felt so good on his. She followed his gaze down to their hands and she quickly attempted to pull her hand away. He grabbed her hand and held it in his.

"Why are you so quick to pull away love?," he asked quietly, looking at her.

She was flustered and he could see that he was making her nervous.

"I wasn't... I just..." Tania stammered, looking down at her hands, "I don't know... I don't know what this is..."

Chibs had no idea what to say to that. He knew what he wanted it to be and where he wanted it to go, but he couldn't push her into something she was unsure about.

"I'm sorry love," Chibs said quietly, "I won't push you. I just want you to know that you can always talk to me and you can lean on me if you need to."

"Thank you Chibs," she said quietly.

She looked straight ahead and said nothing more. He had confused her, but he confused himself as well. He walked back to the driver's side of the truck and got in. He had to prepare himself for two hours of silence.

* * *

><p>Tania sat in the truck with her head against the window. Her heart was confused. She had assumed that he was feeling something for her based on his earlier question. She didn't mean to pull away so quickly, she just didn't want things to move too quickly. She had to focus on her children and her health and she didn't want to hurt him with that news.<p>

The only problem that she had with that was that he was in her thoughts 24 hours a day. All she could see was his face and the way he looked at her. God he was handsome, she thought. Every feature of his face was beautiful to her. She thought often of that night a few nights ago and sometimes she wished that she would have just gone for it.

She looked over at him and he was staring straight ahead, concentrating on the road. He hadn't spoken a word to her since they got back on the road and it felt a little bit awkward. She had no idea how to fix it.

She continued to look out the window and watch the cars going the other way pass by and without giving it another thought she reached over, pulled Chibs' right hand from the steering wheel and put her hand in his. No words were spoken but the look in his eyes said everything.

To hell with it, she thought to herself. Might as well start somewhere.


	6. Chapter 6

_*So sorry for taking so long to update. I have been ridiculously busy and exhausted, but here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. I kind of struggled with the love scene, but I hope you all like it._

She looked at her watch, it was 11:00. She should really try to get some sleep if they were planning on leaving at 8:00. But she couldn't shut her brain off. She couldn't stop thinking about Chibs and how he was making her feel. The feelings she had for him was an exciting new development for her. The thought of anything happening between her and Chibs excited her and terrified her all at the same time. She knew he was a very experienced man, where she had only given herself to one man. She had only ever been with Opie.

She got up off the couch and went to the bathroom to take some Tylenol for her headache and then she quickly dabbed on some lip gloss. She wanted to talk to Chibs, but she really didn't know how to approach him on this one. Lately, he had been leaving her speechless.

She opened the door to her room and there stood Chibs.

"Going somewhere?" he asked her with an eyebrow raised.

"Um…I was…" she stammered. She was not expecting him to be there. "I was coming to see you," she said quietly.

His lip raised in a small smile. She could swear her heart was going to pound out of her chest. She smiled back at him shyly and her hands began to sweat. She couldn't believe how nervous she was feeling right now.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked him quietly, "The kids are in the bedroom sleeping."

"Sure," he replied, "If you don't mind."

She shook her head and she opened the door wider for him to come in. Now that he was here in her hotel room, she had no idea what to say to him. She had it all planned out in her head and now with him here, standing in front of her, her mind was blank. She looked down at her hands.

"Tania," she heard him say quietly, "Are you ok love?"

She looked at him all of a sudden feeling incredibly nervous and shy. He was wearing his jeans and a white t-shirt. He looked incredibly sexy.

"I'm ok," Tania replied as she continued to look down at her hands, "It was so quiet and I was lonely. I was coming to talk to you, but I guess you had the same idea."

As she moved past him to grab him a beer from the small fridge in the room she noticed the close proximity of him next to her. Good Lord, she thought as goose bumps broke out over her arms. This time there was nothing hiding them from his view. He moved so he was standing in front of her, blocking her way. He looked into her eyes and she couldn't look away. She got lost in his eyes. Where did these feelings come from, she asked herself.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" he asked her softly.

She continued to look into his eyes and she took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"About earlier, on the way here," she replied quietly, "I don't know what you're feeling Chibs. I don't know what you're thinking, but the way you look at me, the way you are around me. It's confusing the hell out of me."

He stood there and continued to stare at her. She knew she had put it out there and it had surprised him.

"I don't know sweetheart," he replied, knowing that that was a pitiful response, "You kind of surprised me with that one. I thought I had plenty of time to figure out what I was feeling for you."

"Just tell me Filip," Tania said. He looked at her differently when she said his real name. It was a fiery look, a look of pure desire and passion. "Just lay it all out for me. How long have you felt this way?" Tania asked.

"These feelings returned when we came to help you move," Chibs replied, moving closer to her and putting his hands on her arms, "I felt this way back before you moved away and I managed to get over it when you left, but the feelings came flooding back."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Tania questioned, looking curiously at him.

"You're kidding right?" he scoffed, "You had just lost your husband and you certainly didn't have the same feelings I had for you. You thought of me as a father figure. And up until this afternoon, I thought you still felt that way. When did your feelings change?"

"The second you walked through my door in Arizona," she answered quickly, "There was something different about you. I no longer saw the man that basically helped raise me. I saw you. An incredibly strong and attractive man. Someone I know would keep me safe no matter what."

He smile at her again and began running his hands up and down her arms. It felt so good to feel his hands on her skin.

"What do we do Chibs?" Tania whispered.

"For once love, how about trying not to think," Chibs replied, "Just be in the moment. Lose yourself and then take it one step at a time from there."

Be in the moment, she thought to herself, looking down at her hands.

"Sweetheart, you're doin it again," he whispered.

"Doing what?" she said quietly.

"Thinking," he replied, his lip curling into a one sided grin.

She smiled back at him and giggled and then it got quiet. She looked up into his eyes and slowly moved her hand up and wrapped her hand around his arm, which was still holding her shoulders. She could feel the muscles in his arms and she so badly wanted to feel them wrapped around her.

She didn't break eye contact with him as she began running her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. As she did this, he moved his hands down so they were resting on her hips and he slowly and gently pulled her close to him. She took a deep breath in once she was pressed against him. His body was strong and warm and she just wanted to sink into his arms and stay there forever.

"What's wrong love?" he asked quietly, breathing heavily. He put his hand under her chin and lifted her face up to look at her.

"I'm scared and nervous." Tania replied, smiling up at him shyly.

"Why?" he asked her, "It's just me. I'm not going to hurt you Tania."

"I know that," Tania said, "It's just that… well… Opie was my first everything Chibs. He was my first kiss and the only one I've kissed. And he was the only one I've ever had sex with. So I'm nervous."

"Do you want to be with me?" he asked.

"Of course I do," she whispered, "I've haven't felt like this in a long time Chibs. I'm just scared that I won't be good at it."

"Don't say that Tania," he said, moving in closer to her, which she didn't think was possible, "You are beautiful and sexy and I don't think it's possible for you to be bad at it. I don't want to push you Tania. I will go at your pace."

He didn't allow her to say anything else before he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against hers. His lips were warm and felt so soft against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her up into his arms, her legs unconsciously wrapping around his waist, and he carried her over to the couch. He sat down with her straddling his lap and she opened her mouth to allow him access. His tongue moved against hers in such a passionate and sexy way that she moaned into his mouth. She could feel him hard against her as the kiss grew hungry and gently grinded herself against him.

"Jesus Christ," he mumbled against her lips, his hands moving their way down her body to her hips to hold her still, "You're gonna kill me love."

He bunched his hands in her hair after a moment and pulled gently as they continued to kiss each other with almost a desperation and need. She whimpered against his lips quietly and then reached down and pulled his white shirt over his head. He leaned down again and began kissing her neck. She let her head fall back as she felt his tongue move along her collar bone. He swiftly pulled her tank tap over her head and threw it on the floor before he continued his trail from her neck down to her chest. He kissed along the lace of her bra and then reached behind and unhooked her bra in one quick movement. He kissed her softly and licked at her nipples, causing her to moan in pleasure.

"You are beautiful Tania," he whispered, "More beautiful than I imagined."

He laid her down on the couch and undid her jeans. She nodded her head for him to keep going, she didn't want to stop now. It had been so long since she had made love to anyone and she wanted so badly. She wanted Chibs so much and she wanted him now.

"Keep going," she whispered, looking up at him, "Don't stop."

He pulled her jeans and panties off and she watched him as he admired her. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, pressing himself against her, making her grind her hips against him. He took that as a sign. He quickly undid his jeans and pushed them down and looked into her eyes and he slid into her.

"Oh my god," she moaned quietly as he filled her completely.

She reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him down to her and wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing him as deep as she thought he could go. He began thrusting into her at an excrutiatingly slow pace, allowing her to get used to him. She closed her eyes and began to move with him, moaning every time he thrust into her. It felt so good, feeling him inside her and feeling how deep he was going. He kissed her lips, nose, forehead and then made his way back down to her neck as he kept thrusting. Her body felt like it was on fire and she wanted to cry out, but knew she couldn't for fear of waking the kids. Their lips met in a fiery kiss and she ran her fingers down his back as he began thrusting harder. Their bodies fit perfectly together and never in a million years did she every imagine this happening with him. She didn't want to stop making love to him. She always pegged him for a good lover, but she really had no idea until now, how good.

He sped up with his thrusting as they approached the edge together. He reached between them and began rubbing her clit as he continued to thrust inside her. She closed her eyes and whimpered, pushing herself against his hand. Within a matter of seconds she reached her climax, which caused him to orgasm shortly after her. He collapsed on top of her and they were both breathing heavily.

He pulled back a little and ran his hand through her hair while he looked into her eyes. She saw something that wasn't there before and she really hoped that they would be able to make this work.

"Beautiful," he said quietly, "Absolutely beautiful."


	7. Chapter 7

A couple hours later Chibs laid on the floor and watched Tania sleep. They had made love one more time and now he was tired. He ran his hand through her hair. She seemed at peace and she seemed content. He hadn't planned on that, but he was happy it happened. He wanted to do right by her. He wanted to be with her and help her take care of the kids and protect them. He wanted to be the one she needed. He hoped that he was that person for her.

He slowly and quietly pulled himself off the floor and began pulling his clothes on. He didn't want to leave her, but he didn't want to risk having the kids walk out of the bedroom and seeing them there. He was pulling on his shoes when Tania rolled over and looked at him. Her face went from a smile to a frown in a matter of seconds.

"Making a quick get away?" she asked sleepily, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"No love I'm not," he replied quietly as he tied up his shoes, "I'm going to get a couple hours of sleep and I really didn't want the kids walking out of the bedroom and finding us naked on the floor. If I had it my way, we would be in bed together, with no interruptions. Tania, I'm not running away from whatever this is."

She wrapped herself in the blanket and crawled over to him. Just watching her as she moved, seeing her bare shoulders and her sexy messed up hair, was enough to get him hard again. She put her hands on his legs to lift herself up onto her knees and then she kneeled between his legs.

"You are so fucking sexy," Chibs murmured as he reached over and pulled her into his arms, "I could take you again right now love."

Tania raised an eyebrow and smirked at him. She stood up and straddled his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her softly on the nose before leaning in and kissing her deeply. She put her hands on either side of his face and slid her tongue into his mouth. Where had Tania been his whole life? This woman was amazing in every way.

"You should go get some sleep Chibs," she whispered against his lips, "I'm sure we will have another opportunity."

He kissed her one more time and then lifted her up and laid her down on the couch and covered her up with the blanket.

"I'll see you in a few hours love," Chibs said quietly before walking out of the room.

* * *

><p>About four hours later Tania was in her car with Gemma and Savannah who was fast asleep in the backseat. Hunter had begged to go in the truck with Uncle Chibs. He whined for an hour before they left saying that "momma hogged him all day yesterday, it's my turn now". Chibs had said it was ok and winked at her, so Tania agreed that Hunter could go with him.<p>

"So how was your night?" Gemma asked quietly, not wanting to wake up Savannah.

Tania could see a small smile playing on Gemma's lips and she knew that Gemma had figured them out. But Tania wasn't going to let on that she knew.

"My night was pretty laid back," Tania replied, "I put the kids to bed and then I had a bath and read a book. But I was so exhausted that I ended up falling asleep early."

"Sure you did," Gemma stated, looking at Tania and smiling, "I hope you don't think I'm stupid sweetheart. I shared a room with Chibs last night and he was gone for half the night."

Tania could feel herself blushing and she knew she wouldn't be able to keep it from her much longer.

"How long has it been going on?" Gemma asked.

"Just last night," Tania replied, "The last four days have been a struggle. I was confused from the moment you two got to my house last week about these foreign feelings I was experiencing. Apparently he has had these feelings for awhile now."

"I know," Gemma responded, "Chibs was a wreck after you left Tania. He knew there was no way that you would have feelings for him. You were destroyed after Opie died. You didn't speak to anyone for weeks before you decided that moving would be best. But Chibs, he let himself fall for you, because despite what had happened to you, you needed someone to love you. Not the way we love you, but someone who could possibly one day be completely in love with you."

"What do you think about this Auntie Gem?" Tania asked, her head swimming with information and thoughts and questions, "Do you think Chibs and I could work?"

"I do sweetheart. I think you two are perfect together," Gemma said quietly, giving her a quick look, "But you, my dear girl, have to be honest with him. You have to tell him. It's not fair for you to keep it from him."

I know Gem," Tania replied, feeling horrible that she hadn't told him yet, "I just don't how to tell him. I want to find the right time."

"When is it ever the right time to tell someone you have cancer?" Gemma questioned, "Especially someone you care about?"

Tania rubbed her temples, her headache just wasn't going away and she really wasn't feeling well.

"It's never the right time," Tania replied, sounding confused, "I'm afraid he'll leave me."

Tania felt a little strange saying that. Her and Chibs had never talked about what they were or if they were anything. She was even unsure about what last night was. But until she had told him the truth, she had promised herself she wouldn't let it go any further. She didn't want to hurt him and she didn't want him to hurt her.

"Are you two together?" Gemma asked curiously.

"No, I don't think so," Tania replied, "We just couldn't fight the feelings anymore last night."

"That's usually how things start," Gemma responded, laughing quietly, "Chibs needs a good girl. He doesn't need the crow eaters or the sweet butts anymore. Maybe you two were brought together for a reason."

"Maybe," Tania replied, feeling tired again, "But until I can gather up the courage to tell him about me, nothing else will happen."

Gemma smiled at her and she smiled back. She reclined the seat back, pulled her knees up to her chest and closed her eyes. She was so bloody confused. She thought maybe her feelings would disappear once they were together, but her feelings were still there, screaming at her loud and clear. It was quite possible that she was in love with Chibs.

* * *

><p>About an hour later Chibs pulled into the clubhouse parking lot with Gemma following behind him. He looked to his right and Hunter was fast asleep. He smiled to himself, that kid was quite the character. He definitely kept Chibs entertained.<p>

He pulled the truck up front and turned off the ignition before getting out. He thought he would let Hunter sleep as long as he needed to. As soon as his feet hit the ground Savannah ran up to him, jumping up and down and giggling like crazy.

"Where's Uncle Juicy and Uncle Tiggy?" Savannah asked, her brown curly hair bouncing up and down as she continued to jump.

"Come on Savi," Chibs said laughing. He leaned down and picked her up in his arms, "Let's go see whose inside shall we."

Savannah wrapped her arms around Chib's neck as they made their way inside the clubhouse. It was good to be home and it was good to have everyone back. Except Opie, he thought sadly. Opie was missed by all and it was very obvious that his death had left on mark on everyone.

As soon as they walked into the main room, the first person they saw was Juice, sitting at the bar with his laptop open and sipping on a beer. Savannah went nuts, kicking her legs, wanting Chibs to put her down.

"Uncle Juicy!" Savannah cried out as Chibs put her down and tore off in the direction of her favorite person in the world.

Juice looked over and instantly broke into a smile.

"Hey baby girl," he exclaimed as he got down on one knee and held his arms open, "Man, you're getting so big Savi."

She wrapped her arms around Juice's neck and planted kisses all over his face. Chibs laughed as he watched the reunion take place.

Gemma walked into the clubhouse with Hunter attached to her hand and it looked like he had just been woken up and he was none to pleased about it either.

"Where's Tania?" Chibs asked Gemma.

"She's asleep in the car," Gemma replied as Hunter pulled out of her grasp and ran towards Juice as well, "Chibs, she exhausted. Maybe, if you can, just take her to one of the dorm rooms and let her sleep a little longer."

Chibs nodded his head and slowly made his way back outside towards Tania's car. Tania was leaning against the passenger's side of the car, looking up and tears were falling down her face. Chibs rushed over to her and without asking any questions he pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and cried into his tshirt. It killed him to see her this way and he felt so helpless.

"What's wrong love?" he whispered into her hair.

"I miss him so much," she whispered against his shirt, "Coming back here and seeing his bike over at TM, it brought a whole flood of feelings back. I didn't think it would hurt so much."

Chibs furrowed his eye brows... Opie's bike? He wondered what she meant and then he looked over toward TM. Shit, he thought to himself. They had all agreed that selling his bike would be a horrible sin. They had decided that they would clean it and polish it up and showcase it somewhere in the clubhouse, kind of like they did with JT's bike, or even in the shop. Someone had obviously been working on it this afternoon and hadn't moved it back inside. That's when he saw Rat cleaning up the shop.

"Hey Rat!" Chibs yelled.

"Hey Chibs, glad to have you home," Rat called back.

"Move the bike," Chibs called back, looking down at Tania, who was still wrapped up in his arms, hoping Rat would clue in.

Rat noticed and his eyes went wide.

"Yeah for sure Chibs," Rat replied as he ran over to the bike, "Right away."

Chibs nodded his thanks and then moved so that he was leaning against the car and Tania was leaning in to him. She looked up at him and smiled sadly. He leaned down and kissed her softly and she kissed him back hesitantly. She quickly pulled away. He was more confused than he had been in a long time.

"I can't do this Filip," Tania said quietly, "As much as I want to see where this goes and the way you make me feel is incredible. It's not fair to you."

"What do you mean, it's not fair to me?" Chibs questioned, looking down at her, "I guess you thought it was fair to me last night. Tania what the hell are you talking about."

Chibs felt awful for making that comment. Tania looked like he had slapped her across the face. She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye.

"There is something that I should tell you. I should have told you last week, but then my feelings for you got the better of me," Tania said quietly.

She had pulled away from him now and was standing in front of him with her arms crossed across her chest. He could tell she was nervous because her hands were shaking slightly. He didn't like where this was going.

"Chibs, I found out two weeks ago that I was sick," she said so quietly he could barely hear her, "I have cancer."

_*I apologize, but I have to put this story on hold for right now. Hopefully not for too long, but I'm realizing that it is pretty difficult to write two stories at the same time. I hope to get my other story (Home Is Where You Will Always Belong) done soon so that I can come back to this one._

_To be continued..._


	8. Chapter 8

Chibs' head was still reeling from the bomb that Tania had dropped on him earlier that day. _"I have cancer." _Why the hell hadn't she told him that earlier? Not that that would have changed the way he felt about her, but he had obviously thought their relationship was deeper than it actually was. Even if they weren't together, they were still friends and had always been close.

He sat on the couch in his apartment and stared up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The last thing Tania needed right now was another obstacle. She had been through enough and then to top it all off, all he could do was look at her in stunned silence and then walk away.

**FLASHBACK**

_**"You..." Chibs ran a nervous hand through his hair and stared at her in disbelief, "Cancer..."**_

_**Tania looked up at Chibs with tears in her eyes and it broke him to see her hurting so badly, but he had no idea how to react in this sort of situation. She reached out for him and he took a step back. He was confused, scared, but he was also very hurt that she hadn't told him earlier.**_

_**"Tania," he whispered, "I can't right now. I don't know what to say...I have to go."**_

_**With that Chibs took one more look at Tania and then walked away from her.**_

* * *

><p>Tania was curled up on the spare bed at Gemma's house and she hadn't spoke a word to anyone since Chibs had left her standing there at TM alone. She understood that she hadn't confided in him right from the beginning and that hurt him. Of course he would walk away, what else did she expect him to do in that situation.<p>

She lifted her head when she heard a knock on the bedroom door.

"Come in," she said quietly.

Jax walked in to the room, closed the door and sat down on the bed and pulled her into his arms. They sat in silence for a little while and he ran his hand through her hair while she let the tears fall from her eyes.

"I know I should have told him when he first got to Phoenix," Tania whispered, "But I had no idea that I had those feelings for him. When I realized that I was in love with him, I was afraid that the news would ruin what was starting to develop."

"You're definitely in love with him?" Jax asked with a small smile on his face.

"I thought that I might be falling in love with him," Tania replied, smiling back, "But it was confirmed as I watched him walk away from me when I needed him most. Jax, that hurt so much."

"I know darling," he responded quietly, looking into his cousin's eyes, "I'm sure it just came as a huge shock to him Tania. He will come around after he has time to process the news. You two have too much history for him to walk away from you now. Doesn't matter what kind of relationship you have."

"I hope so Jax," she mumbled, "I need him right now. I realize that now."

He kissed her on the forehead and they sat in a comfortable silence. Tania felt herself begin to calm down and she started to feel relaxed. No matter what happened, she knew that she needed to be strong and get through this journey in her life. That's all that mattered.

"Did you want to come out for something to eat?" Jax asked her a little while later, "Gemma made lasagna for dinner."

"I'm actually not feeling very hungry," Tania replied sleepily, "And I'm feeling really tired. I think I might just go to bed. I have a consultation appointment with the cancer doctor first thing in the morning."

"Ok," he replied, "I'm headed home, but I'm going to take Savi and Hunter with me. They can keep Abel and Thomas entertained."

Tania smiled up at him as he stood up and leaned down to kiss her one more time on the forehead. He quietly left the room and she rolled over so that she was facing the wall. She tried so hard to be strong for everyone else, but the moment the door closed she lost all control and the sobs racked her body. She was sick, her husband was dead and the man that she fell in love with so quickly wasn't speaking to her.

* * *

><p>A little while later there was a banging on Chibs' door. He got up off the couch and walked over to the door swinging it open in frustration.<p>

"What the hell is your problem?" Chibs growled seeing Jax on the other side, "Why the hell are you trying to bang me door down Jackson?"

Jax glared at his Vice President and pushed his way into the apartment.

"Make yourself at home," Chibs mumbled angrily as he slammed the door shut, "To what do I owe this surprising visit?"

"I think you know man," Jax said sitting down on the couch.

"I don't need a lecture from you about this Jackson," Chibs snarled, "In fact, if that's why you're here, you can just leave."

"I'm not here to give you a damn lecture," Jax stated, looking up at him, "I just want to know what happened? I understand that Tania probably could have handled the situation better considering that you two have a friendship that "should" be unbreakable. But Chibs, she is absolutely terrified and she is 100% in love with you. She needs you by her side during this."

Chibs sat down on the chair across from Jax and looked over at him with sad eyes. His heart broke the moment she said the "c" word, but he had no idea how to deal with that. There was no instruction manual for how to be the man she needs while she goes through cancer. He wished that he could just take it away, he wished it was as simple as reaching in and taking out the bad stuff and then it would be over, but it wasn't.

"I feel horrible for walking away from her when she needed me most," Chibs said quietly before putting his head in his hands, "She needs better than me. My actions today were proof of that. When things get hard I turn into a coward and run away. She tried to push me away today by telling me the news and she succeeded. I let her succeed in pushing me away."

"Chibs, she pushed you away because she didn't want to hurt you," Jax stated, "She knows there is a possibility that this could turn out badly and she knew that if that happened or happens, it will destroy you."

"So what do I do?" Chibs asked, lifting his head and looked at his good friend.

"I know this hard for you," Jax stated, "But you need to push your fear to the side and support her. You need to be there for her, you need to take care of her. She has her first doctor's appointment at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow at St. Thomas. Be at the hospital waiting for her when she gets there, show her that you are ready to go through this with her. That is if you really love her."

Chibs clenched his fists as he felt the anger rise inside him and he glared over at Jax.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he spat, "I have loved that woman for two years and haven't stopped. Besides the club, Tania and Savi and Hunter are the best part of my life. When I heard they were coming back to Charming, I damn near shouted my excitement from the roof tops, and we all know that that's not the type of man I am."

Jax smiled at him and stood up. "I know man," he said, grinning at him, "I said that because I knew it would get a rise out of you. I just wanted you to express how you felt out loud and it worked."

"Punk," Chibs grumbled before smiling at him.

Jax walked up to Chibs and they hugged before Jax left Chibs alone with his thoughts. He knew what he had to do and he hoped to God that he had the strength to watch her go through the hell she was about to endure.

_***It's a shorter chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. It is good to be back writing this story again. I hope to hear some good reviews and maybe some ideas for upcoming chapters.**_


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning Tania woke up at 7:30 and went and looked out the bedroom window. She saw a couple bikes parked in the driveway and her curiosity got the better of her. She pulled her hair into a messy ponytail and she looked at her appearance in the mirror. She was wearing a pink tank top and a pair of SAMCRO sweat pants. Just by looking at her, you would never guess that she was sick with cancer. Tania looked like a healthy 36 year old woman. She only wished that was the case.

She opened the door and stepped out into the hallway slowly making her way into the living room. She could hear people talking and could smell eggs and bacon cooking. That smell made her stomach growl and put a small smile on her face. She turned the corner into the kitchen and her stomach did backflips.

Chibs turned and looked at her when she walked into the room. Tania stopped dead in her tracks and she could feel her heart pound in her chest. She couldn't believe that he was there. He smiled a sad smile at her and tears instantly sprung to her eyes. She ran and jumped into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and not a word was said for what seemed like minutes as she just enjoyed the feeling of his arms around her.

"Baby girl," Chibs said quietly, pulling away slightly and looking into her eyes, "I'm so sorry love. I should never have walked away from you yesterday."

Tania looked into Chibs' eyes and she was lost in the moment. It was like they were the only two people in the room. Chibs brushed away a strand of hair that fell into her face and then leaned in and kissed her on the nose. She smiled at him while her heart beat a millions miles a second in her chest.

"Chibs, I didn't plan for this to happen," Tania said quietly.

"Plan for what love?" he asked her.

"Falling in love with you," Tania whispered, her voice cracking slightly, "I found out I was sick before you got to Phoenix. I never planned on having feelings for you. The second I realized there was more between us than just friendship I panicked and I had no idea how to tell you the news. This would be an even bigger commitment for you now and I don't want to be a burden to you."

"Tania, listen to me," Chibs stated with force, "Remember how back in Phoenix, I told you that I enjoyed taking care of you after Opie died?"

Tania nodded her head acknowledgement and looked down at her small hands resting in his larger ones. They fit perfectly.

"Well I meant it," Chibs continued, ignoring the fact that everyone in the kitchen was listening to their conversation, "The fact that you are sick and will only get sicker doesn't scare me. You are not a burden and your children aren't a burden either. I know there are going to be some challenges along the way and some times it's going to be really hard, but if it's with you, I want to go on that journey."

At this point the tears were flowing down Tania's cheeks and she couldn't stop them. She looked around the room and noticed that Gemma was crying quietly along with her. Tania smiled at Gemma and then out of the corner of her eye she saw Juice slowly step out from his spot in the corner of the kitchen. Tania also noticed that Happy was also there and then it finally clicked. She hadn't told Juice or Happy her news.

"What do you mean you're sick?" Juice asked, sounding angry, "Tania, what is Chibs talking about?"

Tania put her head in her hands as the sobs escaped from her throat. She felt horrible that this was how Juice, her good friend, and Happy were going to find out.

"Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer," Tania replied quietly, "Which is why me and the kids came back to Charming. I needed family and friends and knew that I would not be able to do this alone. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. I should've told you yesterday."

The next thing she knew it a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around her. She turned around and saw Happy with tears in his eyes. She turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his waist. Tania cried into Happy's t-shirt and he buried his face in her hair.

"That's not an easy thing to tell people you care about," Happy said quietly, "We understand why you didn't mention it as soon as you got here. You wanted to be happy for a little while."

Tania pulled away from Happy after a couple minutes and smiled sadly up at him and then turned to look at Juice. The tears had already slid down his cheeks, but she knew he didn't care. They didn't say a word as they walked up to each other and she fell into his arms. He had always been like a big brother to her and she loved him dearly.

"I love you T," Juice whispered, holding her tightly, "We will all be there for you. Whatever you need, just let us know."

"Thanks you guys," Tania said quietly, wiping the tears from her face, "All of your support means so much to me. Right now, all that matters to me is that someone will be there for Hunter and Savi when I am too sick to take care of them."

"Between all of us, those kids will be well taken care of," Gemma piped in, "You don't have to worry about a thing sweetheart, except getting better."

Tania smiled at everyone and took a deep breath. She knew that this was only the beginning, but she already felt at peace knowing that despite the circumstances, everything would be taken care of.

* * *

><p>A little while later Tania was sitting in the waiting room at St. Thomas with Chibs by her side, waiting for the nurse to call her name. She was nervous and scared. She was probably feeling every emotion in the book at that particular moment. She turned her head and looked up at the man that meant so much to her. Tania had no idea how it happened, but the feelings that were coursing through her body for Chibs were so strong and they came out of nowhere. It was definitely something that she would never have expected, but it was also a happy surprise.<p>

"You ok love?" Chibs asked quietly, breaking through her thoughts, "Do you need anything?"

"I'm ok, a little nervous," Tania replied, reaching for his hand, "I just need this appointment to happen already. I'm getting antsy and I'm tired of waiting."

"Tania," a nurse called out right after Tania expressed her frustration, "Come this way."

Tania stood up and looked at Chibs who was looking back at her.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked her.

"I'm ok," Tania replied, smiling at him, "I should do this on my own."

Chibs nodded his head. "I'll be here waiting for you when you get out," he said, smiling back at her.

Tania turned and walked towards the nurse and that's when her nerves kicked in. She quickly turned around and looked back at him and he hadn't taken his eyes off her.

"I need you," she mouthed at him.

Without hesitation Chibs stood up and followed Tania and the nurse into the small room to wait for the doctor. She had tried to be strong, but at last minute she knew that she needed him to be with her. They sat down in the chairs and the nurse closed the door behind her and they were left in silence. Tania took a deep breath and leaned her head against his shoulder while they waited for the doctor to make her appearance.

_***Sorry this chapter is so short, but I thought I would get this out. It's hard to push the chapters out as quickly as everyone would like as I'm trying to write 2/3 stories at the same time. I hope you enjoy it and I will trying to make the next chapter longer.**_


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